芒果街上的小屋紅色小丑

紅色小丑

　　薩莉，你撒謊。根本不是你說的那樣。他所做的。他碰我哪裡。我不想要那樣，薩莉。他們是那麼說的，我是那麼以為的，所有的故事書和電影，你們為什麼對我撒謊？

　　我在紅色小丑旁邊等著。我站在你說的摩天轉輪旁邊。可不管怎樣我不喜歡嘉年華會。我和你一起去，因為你在轉輪上笑，你頭向後仰哈哈大笑。我拿著你的零錢，揮著手，數你過去多少次。那些男孩都看著你，因為你漂亮。我喜歡和你在一起，薩莉。你是我的朋友。可那個大男孩，他把你帶到哪兒去了？我等了那麼長時間。我聽了你的話，等在紅色小丑旁，可你一直沒來，你一直沒來找我。

　　薩莉薩莉都一百遍了。為什麼我喊你你聽不到？為什麼你不叫他們讓我一個人待著？那個抓著我胳膊的人，他不讓我走。他說我愛你，西班牙姑娘，我愛你，然後把他酸酸的嘴唇按在我的嘴唇上面。

　　薩莉，讓他停下。我沒法讓他們走開。我除了哭什麼都做不了。我不記得了。天黑了。我不記得了。我不記得了。請別讓我說出全部。

　　為什麼你丟下我一個人在那裡？我好像等了一輩子。你是個撒謊者。他們都在撒謊。所有的書和雜誌，所有的那麼亂講的人和物。只有他髒乎乎的指頭壓在我的皮膚上，他那酸酸的氣味又來了。俯望的月亮。摩天轉輪。紅色的小丑發出粗啞的笑聲。

　　然後顏色開始旋轉，天空傾斜了。他們穿著高高的黑色體操鞋跑開了。薩莉，你撒謊，你撒謊。他不放我走。他說我愛你，我愛你，西班牙姑娘。

　　Sally, you lied. It wasn't what you said at all. What he did. Where he touched me. I didn't want it, Sally. The way they said it, the way it's supposed to be, all the storybooks and movies, why did you lie to me?

　　I was waiting by the red s. I was standing by the tilt-a-whirl where you said. And anyway I don't like ivals. I went to be with you because you laugh oilt-a-whirl, you throw your head bad laugh. I hold your ge, wave, t how many times you go by. Those boys that look at you because you're pretty. I like to be with you, Sally. You're my friend. But that big boy, where did he take you? I waited such a long time. I waited by the red s, just like you said, but you never came, you never came for me.

　　Sally Sally a huimes. Why didn't you hear me when I called? Why didn't you tell them to leave me alohe one who grabbed me by the arm, he wouldn't let me go. He said I love you, Spanish girl, I love you, and pressed his sour mouth to mine.

　　Sally, make him stop. I couldn't make them go away. I couldn't do anything but cry. I don't remember. It was dark. I don't remember. I don't remember. Please don't make me tell it all.

　　Why did you leave me all alone? I waited my whole life. You're a liar. They all lied. All the books and magazines, everything that told it wrong. Only his dirty fingernails against my skin, only his sour smell again. The moon that watched. The tilt-a-whirl. The red s laughing their thick-tongue laugh.

　　Then the colors began to whirl. Sky tipped. Their high black gym shoes ran. Sally, you lied, you lied. He wouldn't let me go. He said I love you, I love you, Spanish girl.

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