芒果街上的小屋塌跟的舊鞋

塌跟的舊鞋

　　是我——媽媽。媽媽說。我開了門，她站在那裡拎著大盒小包，是新衣服，是的，她買了襪子、一件上面有朵玫瑰花的背帶裙和一件粉紅條間白條的裙子。鞋子呢？我忘了。現在太晚了，我好累喲。唉。

　　已經六點半了。我小表弟的洗禮式已經過了。一天都在等待，門鎖著。沒人來別開門。我沒開，直到媽媽回來，什麼都買回來了，就忘了鞋子。

　　現在拿喬叔叔開著車來了。我們得趕去聖血教堂，因為洗禮晚會在那裡舉行。他們今天租了那裡的地下室用來跳舞和吃玉米肉粽。家家戶戶的孩子滿地亂跑。

　　媽媽跳呀笑呀又跳。忽然，她不舒服了。我用一個紙碟對著她滾燙的臉扇風。玉米肉粽太多了，可拿喬叔叔這句話也說太多遍了，他用拇指按了按嘴唇。

　　每個人都在笑，除了我，因為我穿著粉紅條間白條的新裙子、新內衣和新襪子，卻套了雙舊涼鞋，那是穿去學校的鞋子，棕色間白色的，那種我每年九月就會得到的鞋子，因為它很耐用，實在耐用。鞋面都磨圓了，鞋跟也歪了，配身上的衣服顯得好笨。於是我只好坐在那裡。

　　這時那個男孩來請我跳舞，可我不能。他是我的一個表哥，在第一次聖餐會還是什麼時候認識的。我只是把腳縮在貼有聖血教堂標簽的金屬折疊椅下面，還從椅子下面摘到一粒黏在上面的褐色香口膠。我搖頭說不。我的腳好像越來越大了。

　　拿喬叔叔拉呀拉我的胳膊，媽媽買的衣服多新都沒用，只是我的腳太難看了，直到我那個撒謊者叔叔說，你是這裡最漂亮的姑娘，你能跳支舞嗎？不過我相信他的話，是的，我們跳了起來，我的拿喬叔叔和我，我只是開始不想跳。我的腳腫了，老大老沉，像鉛垂一樣。可我拖著它們走過油麻毯到了正中央，拿喬叔叔想在那裡炫一下我們新學會的舞蹈。叔叔轉動著我，我細長的胳膊照他教的那樣彎曲著，媽媽在看，小表弟在看，那個我第一次聖餐會認識的表哥也在看，大家都說，這兩個人怎麼跳得像電影裡的一樣啊。跳到後來，我忘記了自己穿的只是很平常的鞋子，棕色間白色的，那種媽媽每年買了給我上學的鞋子。

　　音樂停下來時，我聽到的都是掌聲。叔叔和我一起鞠了一躬，然後他護送穿著厚鞋子的我走回到媽媽身邊，媽媽為她是我的媽媽而驕傲。整個夜晚，那個是男人的男孩都在看我跳舞。他看我跳舞。

　　It's me——Mama, Mama said. I open up and she's there with bags and big boxes, the new clothes and, yes, she's got the socks and a new slip with a little rose on it and a pink-and-white striped dress. What about the shoes? I fot. Too late now. I'm tired. Whew！

　　Six-thirty already and my little cousin's baptism is over. All day waiting, the door locked, don't open up for nobody, and I don't till Mama gets bad buys everything except the shoes.

　　Now Unacho is ing in his car, and we have to hurry to get to Precious Blood Church quick because that's where the baptism party is, in the basemeed for today for dang and tamales and everyone's kids running all over the place.

　　Mama dances, laughs, dances. All of a sudden, Mama is sick. I fan her hot face with a paper plate. Too many tamales, but Unacho says too many this and tilts his thumb to his lips.

　　Everybody laughing except me, because I'm wearing the new dress, pink and white with stripes, and new underclothes and new socks and the old saddle shoes I wear to school, brown and white, the kind I get every September because they last long and they do. My feet scuffed and round, and the heels all crooked that look dumb with this dress, so I just sit.

　　Meanwhile that boy who is my cousin by first union or something asks me to dand I 't. Just stuff my feet uhe metal folding chair stamped Precious Blood and pi a wad of brown gum that's stuck beh the seat. I shake my head no. My feet growing bigger and bigger.

　　Then Unacho is pulling and pulling my arm and it doesn't matter how he dress Mama bought is because my feet are ugly until my uncle who is a liar says, You are the prettiest girl here, will you dance, but I believe him, and yes, we are dang, my Unacho and me, only I don't want to at first. My feet swell big and heavy like plungers, but I drag them across the linoleum floor straight ter where Uncle wants to show off the new dance we learned. And Uncle spins me, and my skinny arms bend the way he taught me, and my mother watches, and my little cousins watch, and the boy who is my cousin by first union watches, and everyone says, ho are those two who dance like in the movies, until I fet that I am wearing only ordinary shoes, brown and white, the kind my mother buys each year for school.

　　And all I hear is the clapping when the music stops. My uncle and me bow and he walks me ba my thick shoes to my mother who is proud to be my mother. All night the boy who is a man watches me dance. He watched me dance.

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