胡適留學日記卷八一四、C. W. 論男女交際之禮

卷八一四、C. W. 論男女交際之禮

　　（二月三日）

　　C. W. 來書，摘錄其精華如下。此君思想不凡，真能超然塵表者也。

　　My habit, as you well know, is to consider what is right for the highest type of human being… The only "propriety" between those persons of the highest type—that is those who have had their eyes opened to the beauty of a still higher human development, and souls stimulated to the constant effort of realizing it—is propriety of thought．It is quite simple, isn't it? The things worthy of either of two people to be thought of at all, can worthily be thought of together….

　　When one thinks alone there are many things which one faces squarely and then casts away as unfit, and if one does this as promptly before speaking, surely there can be no impropreity．And in the association (or friendship) of man and woman, surely this all holds good, if the truth of sex attraction is clearly understood and valued for just so much as it is good for, and if, when it consciously appears not of use. it is consciously put away by wilful turning of the attention to the higher side of that friendship．And because of the possibility of this effort being called into action, should all the richness of communication between human beings whose real life after all is spiritual and not physical, be blocked by a "sense of propriety"? Surely some of the closest and most stimulating interaction of thought comes between two persons no more．It is true between two women, and I feel sure it is so between two men, and it is true between a man and a woman.…

　　〔中譯〕

　　我的習慣，正如你非常瞭解的，我一直在思考什麼是對於最高層次合適的「禮儀」。……最高層次的人，他們總是追求人類更高發展的美，靈魂不斷受到激勵去力求實現這種美。對於這些人而言，他們之間的「禮儀」是一種屬思想上的東西，這難道不是非常簡單的嗎？對於雙方交往中任何一方值得去思考的東西，完全也值得雙方共同來思考。……

　　有許多東西，當你正視它之後便會知道它是不合適的而要放棄它。如果一個人在開口說話之前能這樣想一想的話，那就不可能有不合乎「禮儀」的行為了。這也適用於男女之間的交往。只要性吸引的真諦被清楚地瞭解，看重它本來的價值，自覺地拋開它的實用性，自覺地將注意力轉向這種交往中的較高層次的一方面，要將這一切努力付之于行動是完全可能的，那麼，對於那些生活的本質是精神性的而不是物質性的人們來說，他們之間的豐富的交往還會受到所謂「禮儀」的阻礙麼？兩個人之間最容易產生親近的、激發思想交流的欲望。兩個女人之間是如此，兩個男人之間是如此，一個女人和一個男人之間也同樣如此。……

　　右論男女交際之「禮」，可謂卓識。此論即在所謂最自由放任之美國亦足駭人聽聞。蓋此邦號稱自由耳，其社會風尚宗教禮俗，則守舊之習極深，其故家大族尤甚。C. W.，女子中之有革命眼光者也。其家庭中之守舊空氣，C. W. 對之如在囹圄，其遠去紐約，終歲僅數歸，未嘗不為此故。此君蓋可謂為「divine discontent」者也。又曰：

　　Education—Choice—then Vital Activity—is not this the way a people should develope?

　　〔中譯〕

　　教育——選擇——然後是至關重要的行動，這不正是人們應該遵循的發展道路嗎？

　　此見道之言也。

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