芒果街上的小屋薩莉

薩莉

　　薩莉是一個描著埃及的眼圈，穿煙灰色尼龍絲襪的女孩。學校的男生認為她很美，因為她的頭髮像渡鴉羽毛一樣烏黑閃亮，她笑的時候，把頭髮往後一甩，像一面滑緞方巾披在肩膀上，然後大笑起來。

　　她爸爸說長這麼美是麻煩事。他們非常嚴格地遵從他的信仰。他們不能去跳舞。他想起他的姐妹們，很傷心。於是她就不能出來。我說的是薩莉。

　　薩莉，是誰教會你把眼睛塗得像克莉奧帕特拉？如果我把這個小刷子用舌頭卷一下，舔成尖尖的，蘸到小泥餅裡去，那個小紅盒子裡的，你會教我嗎？

　　我喜歡你的黑色外套和你穿的那些鞋。你在哪裡買的？我媽媽說這麼年輕穿黑色太冒險了，可我就想要買你那樣的鞋，像你的那雙黑色小羊皮鞋，就和那些一樣的。等哪天我媽媽心情好的時候，也許我的下一個生日之後，我還會要求買一雙尼龍長襪。

　　切芮兒，她再也不是你的朋友了，從復活節前的那個星期二起，從你弄得她的耳朵流血那天起，從她那樣罵你，並在你手臂上咬了個洞的那天起，你看上去好像要哭，大家都在等著，可你沒有哭，薩莉，從那時起，你沒有一個最好的朋友可以一起靠在學校操場的柵欄上，可以跟著你嘲笑男孩子們說的話。沒有人會借給你她的梳子。

　　男孩們在衣帽間裡講的事情，它們不是真的。你獨自倚靠在操場的柵欄上，閉起眼睛，仿佛沒有人在看，仿佛沒有人能看到你站在那裡，薩莉。你把眼睛那樣閉起來時在想什麼？為什麼一放學你總是得直接回家？你變成了一個不同的薩莉。你把裙子拉直。你擦去了眼皮上的藍色眼影。你不笑，薩莉。你低頭看著腳，飛快地走進你不會從裡面出來的房子。

　　薩莉，你有時會希望自己可以不回家嗎？你希望有一天你的腳可以走呀走，把你遠遠地帶出芒果街，遠遠地，也許你的腳會停下來，在一所房子前，一所美麗的房子，有鮮花和大窗，還有你可以兩級並一級跳上去的臺階。臺階上面有一個等你到來的房間。如果你拔掉小窗的插銷，輕輕一推，窗就打開了，所有的天空都會湧進來。那裡不會有愛管閒事的鄰居在張望，不會有摩托和汽車，不會有床單、毛巾和洗衣店。只有樹，更多的樹，還有足夠的藍天。你會笑出來，薩莉。你睡去醒來時不用去想誰喜歡你誰不喜歡你。你合上眼睛不用擔心別人說了些什麼，因為你畢竟從來不屬這裡。沒有人會使你傷心，沒有人會認為你怪，只因你喜歡做夢做夢；沒有人會沖你叫喊，只因他們看到你在黑暗裡倚靠著一輛小汽車；倚靠著某個人而沒有人覺得你壞，沒有人說這是錯的，沒有一整個世界都在等你犯錯誤，而你想要的，你想要的，薩莉，只是愛愛愛愛，沒有人會把這說成是瘋狂。

　　Sally is the girl with eyes like Egypt and nylons the color of smoke. The boys at school think she's beautiful because her hair is shiny black like ravehers and when she laughs, she flicks her hair back like a satin shawl over her shoulders and laughs.

　　Her father says to be this beautiful is trouble. They are very stri his religion. They are not supposed to dance. He remembers his sisters and is sad. Then she 't go out. Sally I mean.

　　Sally, who taught you to paint your eyes like Cleopatra? And if I roll the little brush with my tongue and chew it to a point and dip it in the muddy cake, the one itle red box, will you teach me?

　　I like your black coat and those shoes you wear, where did you get them? My mother says to wear black so young is dangerous, but I want to buy shoes just like yours, like your blaes made out of suede, just like those. And one day, when my mother's in a good mood, maybe after my birthday, I'm going to ask to buy the nylons too.

　　Cheryl, who is not your friend anymore, not since last Tuesday before Easter, not sihe day you made her ear bleed, not since she called you that name and bit a hole in your arm and you looked as if you were going to cry and everyone was waiting and you didn't, you didn't, Sally, not sihen, you don't have a best friend to lean against the schoolyard feh, to laugh behind your hands at what the boys say. There is no oo lend you her hairbrush.

　　The stories the boys tell in the coatroom, they're not true. You lean against the schoolyard fence aloh your eyes closed as if no one was watg, as if no one could see you standing there, Sally. What do you think about when you close your eyes like that? And why do you always have to ght home after school? You bee a different Sally. You pull your skirt straight, you rub the blue paint off your eyelids. You don't laugh, Sally. You look at your feet and walk fast to the house you 't e out from.

　　Sally, do you sometimes wish you didn't have to go home? Do you wish your feet would one day keep walking and take you far away from Mango Street, far away and maybe your feet would stop in front of a house, a nie with flowers and big windows and steps for you to climb up two by two upstairs to where a room is waiting for you. And if you opehe little window latd gave it a shove, the windows would swing open, all the sky would e in. There'd be no nosy neighbors watg, no motorcycles and cars, no sheets and towels and laundry. Only trees and more trees and plenty of blue sky. And you could laugh, Sally. You could go to sleep and wake up and never have to think who likes and doesn't like you. You could close your eyes and you wouldn't have to worry eople said because you never belonged here anyway and nobody could make you sad and nobody would think you're strange because you like to dream and dream. And no one could yell at you if they saw you out in the dark leaning against a car, leaning against somebody without someohinking you are bad, without somebody saying it is wrong, without the whole world waiting for you to make a mistake when all you wanted, all you wanted, Sally, was to love and to love and to love and to love, and no one could call that crazy.

學達書庫(xuoda.com)